There is no possible way to write a tidy blog post about resilience and tie it up with a ribbon. Resilience is a beautifully messy way to respond, and it takes lots of practice. It takes lots and lots of falling down, pausing when you are on the ground, and acknowledging where you are without judging or labelling it.
The rough part about resilience, is we tend to learn about it in the messiest, most uncertain and transitional times. I don't know about y'all..but I tend to break down in times of transition or uncertainty. The easier option in transition times is to distract myself from the fact that life is difficult. Instead of allowing emotion to resonate in my body and spirit, I used to go on long runs or immerse myself in Gilmore Girls or my instagram feed. When, in reality...it is the pausing and acknowledging emotions in these difficult times that produces the resilience necessary to move forward.
This idea of resilience is on my mind daily, because I am in the midst of "audition season" in NYC...so I am learning to embrace resilience as a daily practice. Some days I can laugh at a not-so-awesome audition and move forward with a grin and an attitude of "I'll get 'em next time!" But other days leave me in a funky, uncomfortable place. Some days I am walking on clouds and skipping out of the room, and other days I am focused on how many 5'4 brunettes with sneakers I see in the holding room. Resilience does not mean I cannot feel all of these things...it means i can and SHOULD feel all these things. However, I shouldn't give these feelings (lovely or heinous) a lot of weight. I am currently reading Brene Brown's book, Rising Strong, and she talks about how those who continue to get back up after hardships are people who are curious about their emotions. Being curious doesn't mean clinging to emotions until you are in a hole of despair OR riding your unicorn because you are so happy. Being curious just means taking a step outside of your spinning thoughts and seeing what is showing up and why. In the middle of any hard time...be it a crappy week of auditions, a rocky point in a relationship, or just feeling alone in a group of friends, I think it is important to get curious about why the emotions are showing up.
I am learning that if I understand the "why," I am able to make a more informed decision about how to respond. If I don't get curious when I am down...I give my brain permission to spin into "what if" and "poor pitiful me" land. That is not a fun land to visit. I am learning the most resilient people are the most curious people. They are the ones who can take a step back and get out of their own way. Once you can understand the why behind the hardship (and maybe it isn't as much of a hardship as you think), you are able to tenaciously move forward. And the moving forward will be touched on in resilience: part 2! Look out for it soon, friends.
Have a lovely Tuesday.